The shocking truth...
OK everyone, in the interests of being open and accountable, I am just coming straight out with it...
Today I had to re-set my weight loss ticker- the little measuring stick at the bottom of my blog that tells how much weight I've lost, and my progress towards my goal weight. The truth is, between November and February, I thought I'd lost about 4kg, but it turns out it had been only temporarily mislaid. It is now back with me, filling my jeans in all the wrong places.
What can I say, after all my valiant words, my poignant posts! I, like so many others, have stayed on the rollercoaster of my feelings during this period... "I can do this, I am fearfully and wonderfully made" with carrot sticks one minute, then "I'll never be able to get the victory" with icecream and chocolates, the next.
I feel like a bit of a goose right now, but I'm going to say it anyway... this time I really do believe I am going to have the victory- over my weight, my health, and the wrong thoughts and mindsets that have sabotaged all my previous good work!
It's been said before, that the definition of insanity is to be doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result. Previously I have fought the weight and health battle on only one (or 1.5) fronts at a time- sometimes I've focussed on my eating in Weight Watchers, but let myself down in the exercise department. Other times, I've worked out regularly at a gym, and then eaten whatever I wanted. Needless to say, the little results I did have were quickly swept away in the tide of unhealthy habits!
So this time, I'm doing things differently.
Last week, my darling hubby and I got together and decided that it's time to get radical, to win this war! So this time, I'm going out on all fronts: I've joined the local Contours gym, where I'll be doing energetic workouts three times a week, and I've committed to 5 visits over the next 6 months with a dietitian, to help me get my eating under control. In addition, I'm spending time with loving friends, and working on my thoughts and beliefs through books, programs, blogs, and the Word!
Initially, I wondered whether going to a dietitian would be helpful, thinking "Ï know what I should be eating, and I've just gotta get my thoughts under control with God's help!" But today I went for my 1st visit, and I am so glad I made that move! Do you know, even as a nurse, I had made several regular food choices that I thought were good for me, but actually weren't! I now feel like I will win over this problem- that I'm not in it on my own, but that I have supports and structures that will help me get there.
Friends, I've described my struggle in ugly detail for two reasons: Firstly, I really want to make a fresh start, as I feel I've been given one, and I want you all to know that it's fresh and new.
Secondly, if you are where I've been for the past months, I encourage you to come out on all fronts too. If you try to lop off one of your legs, something you've been relying on for many years, you won't only need a crutch, you'll need physio, dressings, adaptations to your home, etc. You'll need supports in place to help you with the transition. So try to leave every base covered- get some help with your eating, help with your fitness, find some friends who support you in your battle. I'm doing it, and I think I'll be overjoyed at the result!
I'm looking forward to being free! See you at the top of the mountain.
Lots of love,